Pieces...

Pieces. A person... Whole as such but crumbles within. All along he thought it was the external circumstances that lead to his fall but the toxics came from within... Was he sane? He asked himself numerous times, for so much that he could not remember. He's a thinker, a victimised thinker. A sufferer of the toxics from his very own mind; the gift that has led him up there and simultaneously dragged him down here. It is inevitable that a person with a good mind thinks too much, perhaps it is why many "geniuses" ends up with a fatal suicide attempt. Not saying that he is an intelligent boy, but it was that faint amount of IQ that was poisoning his very own emotions. Never did he realised the toxic came from within, he requires a liberation but all that he seeks is an external cure when the external was never the cause for his internal bleeding. He is hurt, by his very own being. 

Egos... Expectations... Perfection... 

The different forms of pollutants of his mind. Beginning with ego, he equalised himself with the things he has. Little did he realise the expiration of things, of human labels, and of course... relationships. And then he had expectations, of himself, and others. He wants to succeed without knowing his limits are little, he wants to be noticed, yet not attempting to make a spotlight. His friends are burdened by his demands, and so is himself. And everything else came to one word... Perfection. It is his motto, his goal, but there was no perfection in this world, simply does not exist, but he seeks blindly. 

Today, he has deeply trenched himself into a pit, so deep... It is almost impossible to escape now... Keeping sanity has become part of his daily task, which proved challenges with each passing day as the toxics accumulates in increasing concentration. 

It is only a matter of time before this ticking clock comes to an end, either with a supernova and does off or compacts into a dimly lit white dwarf that has no significance in whatsoever. 

I pray, and I pray hard, for a liberation, an understanding, and a better mind for I......... am him. 

You can't win

You can't win, not with an egotistical ass with a strong opinion of his own, he's right, he's the fact, he's the best and he's the kindest of all. His action speaks the righteous, his attitude marks the society moral, and his achievement marks the highest human civilisation.... What else can you say around people with such closed-minded, egoistic, self centred attitude? Nothing, but that was the beginning. Now these people has found a way to evolved to a way that they can never loose, never let go of finding every mistake of your, every flaw, every crease in a perfectly smooth surface. That's their hobby, their dream, their passion, their life goal... to bring you down. 

In their presence, even the biggest fruit company may be at fault, the most well programmed game is faultily downloaded into your phone, you are wrong, and even when you agree, you are still wrong because you have that "attitude"... Attitude of what? Agreeing with you? I know I am just letting you win to avoid argument, but it seemed it is not enough, you need a complete response-less cadaver lying in front of you, voiceless, expressionless, completely succumb to your power, that's what they want. So? Give them! 

It is them who are trapped in their tiny world of self, overpowering  everyone around them because they are the highest of the highest form of perfection in human species, what are you? Nothing in their eyes even when all facts sides you...

You will always be the one with the attitude when he didn't even thank you for bringing the histology book all the way from the lab. Their way of repaying you? A vicious shout of mockery for disturbing him in his mid of dota game. 

You will always be the one at the wrong side of fact even when the author of the book sides you with a perfectly black and white written statement.

You can lend them things and it it's like returning an asset, but when it is vice versa, you are treated like a thief who just stole a bun from a bread house out of hunger.... You are filthy, you are repugnant and you are cheap that way... Cuz they are too expensive to deal with.

You will always be the one be with the faulty devices, broken promises, broken everything, what are you? Nothing... Then? Be nothing in their life, why do you need to prove your existence in a person who has no space to see others but themselves?

Just step out of that tiny confinement and maybe you'll find a larger space in other friendship.